Below is my first Toastmaster speech. The assignment was called “The Ice-Breaker” and the task was to introduce myself to the group.
Hello everyone. Today I’ve been asked to introduce myself. Sounds easy, yes? But I ask:
Is there an abiding self who can be introduced?
Am I the nice Jewish girl from Chicago, never questioning the many rules of an orthodox religious practice?
Am I the radical anti-war activist attending six meetings a day, building People’s Park in Berkeley, demanding Third World Studies, and marching in the streets?
Am I the feminist working for women’s rights when the mainstream media and even public television found the movement to be amusing, even laughable?
Am I the artist, disillusioned with political activism, trying to create a new reality through art?
Am I the wife and mother, shaping a more evolved next generation?
Am I a research writer and graphic designer, contributing to public health? And learning to mediate at the university to help people to better communicate with one another?
Am I the humanist rabbi trying to foster interfaith dialogue with the goal of increasing understanding between people of all beliefs and trying to help alleviate suffering?
Am I the doting grandmother (bubbe in Yiddish) whose heart aches with love for her three grandchildren?
To be honest with you, I am torn between two ways of looking at this idea of the self. The first way is one that is inspired by Dogen Zenji, the founder of Soto Zen. He said (this is a very loose rendition):
“To study the Way is to study the self, to study the self is to forget the self, to forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.”
But then, there is the Chassidic tale about Rabbi Zusya:
Rabbi Zusya, a wise and pious man was near the end of his life and he was weeping. His students gathered around and asked him, “Rabbi Zusya, why are you crying? You have led an exemplary life.” Rabbi Zusya answered them. “When I die and go to heaven, the angels will not ask me, “Why were you not Moses, leading the people out of Egypt?” They will not ask me, “Why were you not Solomon, offering wisdom to the people?” They will ask me, “Zusya, why were you not Zusya?”
No Self / Authentic Self
So, who am I – this person standing here before you all? Is there an abiding self who can be introduced? Would we want there to be such a self? If so, is there a thread that holds these selves together into one self?
Some people say that we are the stories we tell.
In that case, I am the forgotten self, the authentic self, the nice Jewish girl, activist, feminist, artist, researcher, designer, mediator, mother, rabbi, bubbe, toastmaster attendee, and I’m very happy to meet you.
o. Slowly, the horse appears to be more and more comfortable in the water. The girl leads it in further. The horse splashes the water with glee. 
The girl laughs and laughs and the horse, its comfort level quite high at this point, keeps splashing and splashing. The joy of the splashing is punctuated by the girl’s infectious laughter. Pure joy is expressed by the horse and by the girl. If we empathize with these two beings we experience deep fear, patience, curiosity, and joy all in a period of 2 minutes and 19 seconds!
Rabbi Susan Averbach 